Thanks to Chewks

Armstrong and Miller sketch on swearing and predictive text.

Freddy sat thinking on the seat under the trees. It was a wide, white seat, about four feet long, sloping from the sides to the middle, something like a swing; and was not only comfortable but curious, for it was made of a whale's bone. Freddy often sat there, and thought about it for he was very much interested in it, and nobody could tell him anything about it, except that it had been there a long time.

"Poor old whale, I wonder how you got here, where you came from, and if you were a good and happy creature while you lived?" wondered Freddy, patting the old bone with his little hand.

A young man, wearing a hoodie, was stopped by the police. Policeman:  Where do you live? Young Man: With my parents. Policeman:  Where do your parents live? Young Man: With me. Policeman:  Where do you all live? Young Man: Together. Policeman:  Where is your house? Young Man: Next to my neighbour's house. Policeman:  Where is […]

Son : Dad, what should I give my girlfriend for Christmas?

Dad : What is she like?

I hear that you've been naughty, So listen, here's the scoop... I'm running short on coal this year, So you get "Snowman Poop" Love, Santa