Learn a Foreign Language
A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.

A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.

Mr. Smith was a travelling salesman and frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags. He always did this with brightly coloured ribbons and tape, so on one trip as he got to the luggage carousel he was very surprised to see his bags being grabbed by a well dressed man.

Teacher: "Johnny, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Johnny: "What do you think it is, sir?"

A school teacher had badly injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Luckily it fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest class in the school.

Two men are drinking in a bar.
The first one asks: “Where are you from?”

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That’s not it” and put it down again.
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.