U have been warned... 1f y0u c4n r34d 7h15, y0u r34||y n33d 70 637 |41d.

Mr.Watt rang Mr.Knott. Knott: "Who's calling?" Watt: "Watt."Knott: "What is your name, please?"Watt: "Watt's my name."Knott: "That's what I asked you. What's your name?"Watt: "That's what I told you. Watt's my name."[Pause]Watt: "Is this James Brown?"Knott: "No, this is Knott."Watt: "Please tell me your name."Knott: "Will Knott."Watt: "Why not?"Knott: "Huh? What do you mean why […]

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humour lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.Leonard Bernstein The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, […]

The alternative Teletubbies song (as sung in school playgrounds) I hate Po, Po hates me. Tinky Winky shot Dipsy With a great big bang And a bullet in his head. Don't tell Laa-Laa Dipsy's dead. Laa-Laa cried Then she died, Po committed suicide, Tinky Winky did the same, Teletubbies are insane.