TRUE! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why WILL you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses, not destroyed, not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How then am I mad? Harken! and observe how healthily, how calmly, I can tell you the whole story.
A little boy at a wedding looks at his mother and asks, "Mummy, why does the bride wear white?"
French and Saunders are very well known in the UK. Here Jennifer auditions for an overly tall "Tyra Banks" played by Dawn French, in a parody of America's Next Top Model. Taken from "A Bucket O' French and Saunders".
Mr Chigger Hello, I saw your advertisement for flying lessons and I'd like to make an appointment. Second Secretary Well, Mr Anemone's on the phone at the moment, but I'm sure he won't mind if you go on in. Through here. Mr Chigger Thank you. Mr Anemone Ah, won't be a moment. Make yourself at […]
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path. How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it. What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? "Damn." What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids. What do prisoners use to call […]