More fun for lexophiles:- Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes. She was […]

1. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.2. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.3. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.4. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.5. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.6. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; […]

One of the stranger ones:-

Aiken Drum

Traditional

There was a man lived in the moon,
Lived in the moon, lived in the moon
There was a man lived in the moon,
And his name was Aiken Drum.

The Dancing Partner

by Jerome K Jerome - from Novel Notes, London, 1893

'This story,' commenced MacShaugnassy, 'comes from Furtwangen, a small town in the Black Forest.' There lived there a very wonderful old fellow named Nicholaus Geibel. His business was the making of mechanical toys, at which work he had acquired an almost European reputation. He made rabbits that would emerge from the heart of a cabbage, flop their ears, smooth their whiskers, and disappear again; cats that would wash their faces, and mew so naturally that dogs would mistake them for real cats and fly at them; dolls with phonographs concealed within them, that would raise their hats and say, 'Good morning; how do you do?' and some that would even sing a song.

September's English Joke of the Month

Who ate the cleaner?

Some cannibals get a job in a big corporation on condition that they don't eat any of the staff.

Here is how you make that Scottish delicacy, the deep fried Mars bar:-