Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome2. Charming3. Financially successful4. A caring listener5. Witty6. In good shape7. Dresses smartly.8. Appreciates finer things9. Full of thoughtful surprises10. An imaginative, romantic lover Revised List (age 32): 1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)2. Opens car doors, holds chairs3. Has enough money for a nice dinner4. Listens more […]
Read the following directions carefully:- The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dav Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names:- Instructions:- Use the FIRST letter of your first name to determine your new FIRST name:a = stinkyb = lumpyc = […]
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House," for instance, is feminine: "la casa". "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz". A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male […]
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted? Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? Have you ever wondered? Have you ever noticed that when you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"? Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor? No […]
(This is written using the Cockney dialect, and this is the way it should be read, I have done my best to read it, but, if there are any Cockneys out there who think they can do better, please let me know. )
A muvver was barfin 'er biby one night,
The youngest of ten and a tiny young mite,
The muvver was poor and the biby was thin,
Only a skelington covered in skin;
1
[1959] He hid in the woods, watching his father and sister, what they were doing. So we heard that, that is. Most of us felt, and all of us gossiped, he was up to no good. Here he lived an estranged life, hidden in the thick of the deep, like a recluse.
At times it was said, you could smell his cooking of venison, or spot him driving his 1952-pickup to town, dilapidated. His one room shack remained on the 1400-acers his father owned, and there he lived quietly, out of sight and out of the minds of the people in town, except for the intermit conversations, and gossip.