A police constable pulls a driver over for speeding:
Constable: May I see your driver’s license?
Driver: I don’t have one. It was suspended when I got caught over the limit.
A group of retired farmers were travelling by tour bus through Devon.
They stopped for a tour at a dairy, and a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that at this particular dairy goat’s milk was used.
A nutritionist was giving a presentation at a conference. “The stuff we eat is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago,” he said.
An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he sees a panther stalking him in the bushes.
The old Doberman thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in trouble now!”
Son : Dad, what should I give my girlfriend for Christmas?
Dad : What is she like?