Here's a selection of Halloween jokes:-
A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very worried and strung out. She rattled off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me!?”
One night 4 university students were boozing till late and didn't study for the exam which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and disheveled as they could with grease and dirt.
A professor was marking some exam papers and opened one from a failing student to reveal blank pages and a £100 note. The only thing written on the answer page was, "£100 = 100% - I get a distinction."
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
A man sits down in a restaurant and looks at the menu. He says to the waiter "I think I will have the turtle soup".