A man was telling his neighbour 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art .... It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbour. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty..'

Two newlyweds were arguing about who should brew the coffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of the housework around here so you should do it, because that […]

A young man, wearing a hoodie, was stopped by the police. Policeman:  Where do you live? Young Man: With my parents. Policeman:  Where do your parents live? Young Man: With me. Policeman:  Where do you all live? Young Man: Together. Policeman:  Where is your house? Young Man: Next to my neighbour's house. Policeman:  Where is […]

Son : Dad, what should I give my girlfriend for Christmas?

Dad : What is she like?

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I'm out shopping, and I've found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "£1,000? Why not?  Go ahead and buy it, if you like it that much."

A husband came home from work and his wife walked up to him and slapped him across the face, "What was that for?" he cried.