This was sent to my friend James from Australia. It appeared in a local newspaper. From deep in the bowels of the Australian Taxation Office, new staff instructions regarding emails:- Quote: "Some emails can be classified as unclassified, and in the process of classifying an email as unclassified, the unclassified email has been classified. But […]
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path. How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it. What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? "Damn." What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids. What do prisoners use to call […]
6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. You don't volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital. You know all of the people sleeping in your house. You carry an umbrella. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic. You don't get […]
Things you'll wish you'd said at school:- Teacher: Johnny, what is the chemical formula for water?Johnny: H I J K L M N O.Teacher: What are you talking about?Johnny: Yesterday you said it's H to O. Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I."Johnny: I is...Teacher: No, Johnny... Always say, "I am.Johnny: All right... […]
MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales. SALES - Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree." You are […]